At Last

Missing my Shadow

2012-01-23T15:21:00.000-06:00

My sweet little shadow, Tucker Bug, was put to sleep a week and a half ago. There hasn't been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about him and missed him dearly. Tucker Bug has been in my life longer than my husband, my kids, and most of my friends. If you are not a dog person, it may not seem like much of a loss to you. In my heart, it was. My eleven-and-a-half year old guy weathered the ups and downs with me, both pre-marriage and post-marriage. He was the sweetest little fella.

In the past several months, he just wanted to be near me. He wanted to see me. He didn't want me out of his site. How endearing. He would lie in my office and stare lovingly at me as I worked. He would dance on the back of my heels as I walked. He would lie in the den staring into the kitchen at me as I cooked meals. He napped with me on the weekends. I was with him through thick and thin, and he was with me through mine. He was the dog with nine lives (those of you that have known me as long as I have had Tuck know I speak the truth).

I know it was his time to go, and I am thankful he is no longer suffering from kidney failure.
I just wish it didn't hurt my heart so damn much.

My sweet little guy, my forever friend, my cuddliest companion.

Rest in peace, little man!

June 29, 2000 - January 10, 2012

Stories

2011-11-04T21:16:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks are a blur because of the move, but there are a few things that stand out to me-

1) The boys' caregiver comes to the house to watch them while I work. Ms. Gayla is amazing! She had put the boys down for a nap, and I heard someone screaming and crying from my office. I tuned in to listen carefully; I heard, "Oh my God! I am so sorry! I am so sorry! Oh my God!" Someone was bawling and screaming. A nasty vision flashed through my head- Gayla had gone downstairs to check on the boys and something had happened to one of them. I jumped out of my chair and raced to the living room to find Gayla sitting in a chair and watching TV. Panicked, I asked her if everything was OK. I must have looked like I had seen a ghost because she smiled sweetly, said "yes," and then looked at me puzzled. I told her I heard someone screaming and crying, and she told me she had been watching a video a friend sent her on her phone. Honestly, I think it may have been the scariest moment to date with the boys. I was literally shaking with fear and wanted to cry because I was so relieved all was okay. It's amazing how your brain leaps to conclusions sometimes. My head and heart have gone to some nasty places this week while replaying that episode in my mind. It was indescribably scary for me, but I am so thankful it ended up being nothing.The thought of losing these boys gives me nightmares, but I am ultimately not in control; I just try not to think about those kinds of things.

2) The boys love the stairs in our new house. They have actually done very well navigating them, and we don't currently have any baby gates up, although that may change once we put the boys in bigger beds.

3) The boys loved trick or treating this year. They looked adorable in their superhero costumes. Mason was Batman, and Brody was Superman. They weren't in picture-taking moods, so I don't have any great shots, but I did snap a few. Oh well; that's life.

4) I LOVE our new house, even though it is a work in progress. We have lots of changes we want to make, but it has great "bones." The one thing driving me the most crazy at the moment, however, is that we don't have a doggy door for the dogs. I literally have to take them out every one to two hours, and poor Tucker has actually had a few accidents in the house already. The dogs have always had the freedom of a doggy door, so they don't know how to let us know they need outside. It stinks, but I know they are adjusting too.

5) Brody wanted more snack this week. After I put some in his bowl and handed it to him, he replied, "Tank ew, Mama." Talk about melting my everlovin' heart!

6) Mason's vocabulary is growing by the second! His new favorite words are, "Oh wow," "oh no," "oh boy," and "uh oh." Too cute. We typically go running when we hear "uh oh." Mason is also our poop detector. Every time we are walking and he sees poop, he is sure to point it out and tell us "shooey" as he waves his hand over it. Such a goof.

Guess that's all for now. I'm trying to get back in the blogging swing of things because I really want to document my kids right now. They are at such a fun and ~~busy~~ exhausting age, but they make for interesting days and nights. Speaking of- here are two of my new favorite videos. I call them "Cutest Bunny Ever" starring Brody Harrison and "Animal Noises" starring Mason Atticus.

Finally, an update!

2011-10-14T12:51:00.000-05:00

Things have literally gone into overdrive at our house. I compare our house to a circus on a daily basis- people coming and going, babies hanging off cabinets and jumping off chairs, toys showing up in random places, Mama and Daddy laughing hysterically one minute and wanting to cry the next.

Most of you don't know, but we have had our house on the market for several months, and it finally sold. In fact, we move in less than one week. We have been busy trying to pack and contain two two-year olds. This is NOT a fun task. Thankfully, we have lots of family to help us juggle them and our packing.

In addition, Allen and I both have new jobs. I still work for the same company; I just took on a new role with the company. Allen took my old job, so now we work for the same company.

Two new jobs, showing the house, selling our house, fixing our back fence that blew down in a storm, packing, moving into a new house, a minor surgery for Brody, my birthday, a garage sale at my mother-in-law's house, the boys being sick off and on, a three-day migraine for Mama, celebrating the boys' second birthday (early), a visit to the Pumpkin Patch, Brody sliding off a pony, Mason being bucked off a horse, Mason repeating everything you say, and the boys climbing out of their cribs.... life is insane! Despite the madness, I shouldn't complain because we are completely blessed by all these changes and our awesome (and exhausting) boys.

Here are some pictures (in chronological order) to fill you in on the last several months-

I hope things are going well for all of you. I have been reading blogs; I just haven't had a chance to comment. If the circus ever ends, maybe I'll have time to comment. Ha!

Clothing

2011-03-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

Do you like your summer or winter wardrobe better?

Sickies

2011-03-07T19:45:00.002-06:00

We have the sickies at my house. I waited almost an entire week to take the boys to the doctor, and even today, I only took Brody. Three nasty letters- R S V. Yep, you read that right. RSV. And Brody may have a touch of pneumonia in his left lung. Mason isn't as bad; he has RSV but no pneumonia. Snot, coughing, more snot, fever, runny noses. Did I say snot? I really need to scream SNOT because it is flying out of noses and dripping (literally) all over our furniture. Anyone care to come sit on our lovely couch for a cup of snot tea?

So, the boys were prescribed breathing treatments. What fun to hold down our sixteen month-olds one at a time for ten to fifteen minutes while we place a medicine-filled mask on them! Actually, it's not fun at all. Hearing the boys scream and hit and kick makes me want to run to my bed and curl up in the fetal position. I think it is the worst thing we have had to do since their circumcisions. We're just not having fun at our house. Not since last week.

Both Allen and I have been sick. I'm getting over my crud, but Allen's has ramped up stronger. We're on meds now too.

All this and our house goes on the market later this week. Fun times.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Count to ten. One.... two..... three...

If you get into some crazy mood and want to be around screaming, snot slinging babies, just head over to our house. We'll leave you to fend for yourself while we go catch some shut eye.

First Haircuts

2011-02-21T19:20:00.021-06:00

Before~

During~

After~

My baby boys are disappearing right before my eyes.

Around Our House

2011-02-14T19:56:00.043-06:00

If you looked around our house right now, you would find~

Babies pulling toys...

Monkeys in precarious places...

And monkeys in precarious positions...

Accidents waiting to happen...

Babies that are big enough to be in the shower alone (but supervised)...

Babies dressed in warm clothes and hats...

A trash can on the dining room table. Hmmmm...

A dog craving attention...

And another dog dying to be left alone...

Dishes in the sink...

Babies playing on the floor...

Mail and work piled on my desk...

An overweight dog waiting for flying food scraps at dinner...

Beautiful curls...

The sweetest smiles and faces...

Carpet samples to be returned to the flooring store...

A coloring project gone wrong...

Terribly wrong...

Babies with pacifiers and lots of molars peeking through gums...

Stories being read...

Netflix movies that need to be mailed...

A closet that threw up...

Jagged toenails that need to be trimmed...

Laundry...

And more laundry...

Two amazing balls of energy...

Babies being kissed and loved...

A child who will climb anything...

Make-do dinners...

Incomplete home projects...

Random objects in random locations...

Boys with crazy hair that needs to be trimmed...

Happy faces...

Babies fast asleep at bedtime...

What would we find around your house?

15 months

2011-01-22T10:47:00.014-06:00

I really cannot even believe my babies are 15 months old!

Mason and Brody are doing so well, and the doctor says the boys are "perfect." Ha! No wonder we chose him as our pediatrician.

Mason weighs 24.7 pounds, is 32 inches long, and his head circumference is 18 1/4.
Brody weighs 24.1 pounds, is 31 3/4 inches long, and his head circumference is 18 1/2.

Both boys are in the 25-50th percentile for weight.
Brody is in the 50-75th percentile for height while Mason is in the 75-90th percentile.
Brody's head circumference is in the 50th percentile and Mason's is in the 25-50th.

Mason's favorite thing to do is climb and "talk." He knows what the duck, cow, baby, monkey and car say. His favorite toy is anything he can climb on- cabinets, the baby picnic table, chairs, couches, ottomans, etc. He has escaped out into the freezing cold about four times through the doggy door the past two weeks without us knowing. His favorite foods are green beans, milk, strawberries, grapes, string cheese- actually, he pretty much loves all food and is an amazing eater. He loves taking baths and showers. He loves to play with Moxie, but he has become infatuated with Tucker Bug. He gives open-mouth kisses, waves hello and goodbye, and says about fifteen words and sounds that are recognizable. He is a total ham and loves to make faces when you try to take pictures of him. Our Mason keeps us laughing!

Brody's favorite thing to do is read books and be held. His favorite toys are his tennis shoes. Literally. He carries them around and swings them by the shoe strings. His shoe is the first thing he wants in the mornings when he wakes up. He has about six molars coming in right now, so he has needed lots of attention. I had a wonderful evening about a week ago where he let me hold him and rock him and sing to him. It reminded me so much of when he was a tiny baby, and it made my heart so happy. Brody's favorite foods are fruit and breads. He loves waffles, bagels, crackers, cookies and all kinds of fruit, both real and dried. He loves to take baths and showers as well. Brody gives open-mouth kisses, sleeps with a "baby," "loves on you" by rubbing your hair and says about ten words that are recognizable. Brody is our "hold me baby" that loves one-on-one attention. Although more serious than his brother, he still makes us laugh.

Brody loving on his friend, Presley.

Both the boys are wearing 18 month clothes and size 5 (Brody) and 6 (Mason) shoes. They no longer drink from bottles and are only using sippy cups. We weaned them off their night time milk this week, and they did marvelously well! They sleep from 7 PM until about 7 AM and still take two naps during the day. We are blessed that they are such great sleepers! They still share a room and are just such amazing little boys.

Next on the agenda- I go out of town for a week and leave Allen home alone with them. Wish us all luck that we survive. HA! And then when I return from my work conference, we have to get these little guys haircuts. I can hardly even type that without tearing up. My little babies are growing up, and it is affecting me more than I care to admit.

What are your plans for the next week or two? Anything exciting?

Thinking

2011-01-19T15:07:00.003-06:00

We lost a sweet friend last week. He was 43 and died of a heart attack. It hit Allen and me hard. Really hard. More than anything, it was a complete shock. Things like this really make you think hard about life~

Have I accomplished everything I want to accomplish?

Do we have things in order in case something happened to both of us?

Would I die a happy person?

Who would preach my funeral?

Does Allen know what songs I want played at my funeral and my preferences for the service and vice versa?

What would happen to Allen and the boys or the boys and me?

Where would we be buried?

How much does cremation cost?

Which led to personal thoughts~

Don't put me in some $5000 casket. Don't spend lots of money on the arrangements.

Donate my organs, if possible.

Ask for donations to charities in lieu of flowers.

Oh my word. Death. How scary. I don't want to die yet.

I can't think about my husband or children dying.

Life is precious and unpredictable.

I would like to hope my services would be light-hearted and fun, the way I think of myself. I'd like people to tell funny and completely inappropriate stories about me. I'd like there to be a celebration of my life with a service my kids could attend even if they were screaming and crying. I want a slide show and great music with my favorite songs played intermixed with some of my favorite serious and funny quotes. I want to be cremated. Don't dress me up, put makeup on me and put me in an open casket for everyone to stare at me and remember me that way. Just cremate me and get on with the cheapest service possible. I want emotional support for my husband and continued prayers of encouragement and hope. I'd count on my friends and family to provide this for Allen and the boys, even though he would never ask. I'd expect them to know his needs and take care of them.

Wow, my mind is reeling, my heart racing. I don't like to think about death, but I have been been perplexed by happenings of the past few weeks. We can die at any moment. For any reason. I'm not ready, but I want to be as prepared as I can be by telling loved ones of my desires.

As weird as it is to think of these things, do you have specific requests? Do your friends and family know your preferences? Anything you care to share?

*We'll miss you and your "joke of the day," Shad. Rest in peace, happy friend. Thank you for your amazing smile, positive attitude and outlook on life, and for making everyone look so "fabulous."

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-06T12:17:00.004-06:00

I've never really had any New Year's resolutions in the past, but I thought I'd try a few this year. I think mine are all doable; I just really need to think about them on a daily basis. I need to ask myself questions before I act to see if I am keeping these overall goals in mind.

1) Save more money. If I purchase items on sale, that doesn't mean I need to spend the difference somewhere else. I need to purchase wisely and with purpose.

2) Waste less food. When I do cook (which is not often), the leftovers often go to waste instead of being eaten. We should take advantage of everything we purchase and everything I cook. I also want to only purchase groceries we need and will use. When we clean out our pantry and fridge, we end up tossing bags of chips that are half empty, celery that has not been eaten, moldy cheese, etc. I really want to work on this and do better.

3) Listen. I used to be a really great listener. Now that we have the boys, I often find myself trying to talk over them and listen over them. It's not working for me. I need to listen, and I need to hear. I need to listen to my instincts too because they are usually right on target.

4) Unplug when I'm with the family. I tend to come home from work, eat dinner, and then let the boys play while I am on my phone or watch TV. I would really like to unplug and spend time with the boys and Allen until the babies go to bed. Allen has said that I have a tendency to "tune out" once we finish with dinner. It's true, and I need to fix it and work on this.

5) Dress the Part. When I'm at home, I am usually in pajamas with no makeup. When I am at work, I wear work clothes. I'd like to see myself actually take a shower and get dressed in jeans and a sweater on the weekends instead of just staying in pajamas every weekend. I'd like to wear more skirts and dresses and dress more on the "business" side than on the "business casual" side. I think this will also help my self-confidence.

6) Date my husband. We have spent so much time focusing on the boys that we have neglected our husband/wife time. I would like to have a date night once a month where we go to dinner or a movie or bowling or something that is outside the house and away from the boys. We need time as a couple and not just time as "Mama and Daddy."

What are your goals? How do you intend to keep them this year?

Where the heck have we been?

2011-01-02T19:56:00.058-06:00

Good grief! I cannot believe it has been so long since I last posted. We have been sick and insanely busy, but I hope to make blogging a larger priority in 2011. Once a week. That's my goal.

So, here's what we have been up to the past few months:

In November, I had college friends in from Texas. We had a great time hanging out and reminiscing while my mom kept the boys for us. Allen got some alone time too, and of course, he loved that!
I realized that once you have kids, your friendships are very hard to maintain. I have always had pride in myself for putting lots of time and effort into relationships with good friends, but I haven't really had the time or energy to do so. It has kinda bummed me out a bit. Anyone else feel the same way?
I also took a road trip with Aunt Leah and the boys to Houston. We had a great time! I was glad we decided to make the seven-hour drive while the boys slept though. It gave Leah and me lots of time to chat without crying babies. Leah's family is so amazing; I love all of them and was so happy to finally take the boys to Houston!

The boys got really bad colds one we came back from Houston. I wonder if it had anything to do with the 80 degree weather they had there. Geez.

Then we had Thanksgiving to round out the busy month. What a time to reflect on blessings of the current and previous years.

We also had some family pictures taken by Mandy Stansberry Photography, a college friend. She did an amazing job capturing the boy's personalities along with a few great family shots.

Allen started really working on remodeling our guest bathroom. I'll save pictures for a later post when it is completely finished.
Mason started climbing. He thinks he is invincible. Seriously. Have you ever seen a thirteen month old climb like this? Fearless, I tell ya. And a heart attack for Mama.

And the boys started finding more and more trouble around the house. Curiosity killed these cats. Hey- at least they keep us entertained!

In December, I was sick with a cold and then sinus infection and then bronchitis and a viral infection. I couldn't stay well to save my life! I ended up being sick the last part of November and stayed sick off and on for about six weeks. No fun!

During my last sick episode, Allen got really sick- puking out both ends for nine hours straight. I ended up having to take him to the ER. The doctor wasn't sure if it was a virus or food poisoning, but they gave him fluids and meds and sent him home for lots of rest.
Since Allen and I were so sick, my mom watched the boys for two days and nights so we could recuperate before Christmas. It was not a pretty time at our house. Not a pretty time at all.
Mason also had a minor surgery for a "circumcision revision." It ended up being much worse than Brody's head surgery several months ago, but it is likely because it involved such a sensitive area. Thankfully, he has full recovered and everything is fine. *Note to all- If you have a baby boy and get him circumcised, you can call in a urologist to do the circumcision. I would highly recommend this and didn't know this was even an option.

Allen continued remodeling the guest bathroom. We are getting closer to being finished!
Christmas! What a merry one it was. Santa was very good to our family this year. We must have been on the "Nice" list. The boys were still more into the tissue paper, bows, and boxes than the actual gifts, but it was so much fun having kids around during the holidays!

The boys have really started saying words. Mason says "quack quack," "Dada," "Ooooo Ooooo Ooooo"(what a monkey says), and "nite nite." Brody says "outside," "Mama," "Dada," "nite nite," "out, out, out" (when he's into something he is not supposed to be), "okay," and "a bath." They are both still doing baby sign language and have mastered "milk" and "hungry" and "more."
I sure love these guys. I don't even know what we did before we had them. Our lives are so busy, but our lives are also so full. Full of life and love and joy.

I hope your holidays were grand and exciting and lovely! I apologize for the delay in posting, but I'm sure everyone has been busy. I don't even know if anyone reads anymore, but I'd love to have you say "Hi" if you are still out there.

Skeletons (in the closet)

2010-11-02T13:24:00.015-05:00

These are my skeletons in the closet, both figuratively and literally. Although it took us years of agony to conceive them, I would not trade the pain, anguish, money, stress, disappointment, procedures, heart-break, self-loathing, time, tears, or sadness for these two scary skeletons. These boys bring us more joy and laughter than I ever could have imagined possible!

What are your skeletons in the closet? Is anyone brave enough to share?

Dr. Seuss 1st Birthday

2010-10-24T10:23:00.002-05:00

We celebrated the boys' first birthday on their actual birthday, Saturday, October 16th. The family attended our "Seussical" birthday, and it was so much fun. I still cannot believe I have two one-year-olds. It is both sad and exciting!

Here are a few pics from Mason and Brody's birthday day.

Details of the party~

We served green eggs and ham- ham sandwiches and green deviled eggs plus two kinds of chips and dip. Somehow I forgot to get a picture of the food. Bummer.
Aunt Leah came into town to help. She and I were both sick with colds, so it was a challenge to get everything done while feeling ill and quickly running out of energy.
Great Aunt Cindy saved the day by finding a clear ladle and watching the boys while we decorated.
The boys didn't get nearly as messy with the cake as I had secretly hoped. It was the first cake they had ever tried, and I am thrilled they didn't love it.
They had more fun with the tissue paper from the gifts than the actual gifts themselves.
The party was everything I had hoped it would be.
Allen and were so exhausted from the party that it took us about three days to fully recuperate. We had no idea party planning and throwing would be so exhausting for a child's birthday party.
The "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" onesies looked adorable on the boys.
Mason and Brody loved the wagon and pop-up tent the best.
Mommy and Daddy loved the clothes, pajamas, and gift cards best.
The punch was fabulous, although I wish it would have been spiked.
I loved the monthly pictures of the boys that Aunt Leah helped put together. We may even add another year to them at their two-year party.
When we sang "Happy Birthday" to the boys (one time for each child), they stared at us like we were martians. The look on their face said it all- Why is everyone staring at us and singing?
The cakes (all three of them) turned out so cute!
Once Brody had enough of his cake, he tried to push it off his high chair. Cute but nearly disastrous.
I had a slide show with music playing of all Mason and Brody's best pictures. It was a hit, and I hope to add birthday pictures to it and complete one each year for them both.
I loved the theme. How can you go wrong with Dr. Seuss?
Allen and I survived the first year (with tons of help). Hallelujah! Maybe year two won't feel like ten years crammed into one. Time- slow down!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow- I love you, tomorrow

2010-10-15T07:07:00.002-05:00

Any guesses what tomorrow is? Let me give you a hint:

Maybe

2010-09-27T19:53:00.040-05:00

~~Maybe~~ my child got stuck in the doggy door.

~~Maybe~~ my other child got stuck in the rocking chair.

~~Maybe~~ Mason learned to kiss the dog before he learned to kiss us.

~~Maybe~~ my husband told me the best thing I cook is green beans (from a can).

~~Maybe~~ Mason and Brody are going to be a year old in less than a month, and I am having a hard time with it.

~~Maybe~~ Mason makes the funniest noises ever.

~~Maybe~~ Brody gets "mad" and makes us laugh hysterically.

~~Maybe~~ I desire more free time but don't know what to do when I have it.

~~Maybe~~ I (accidentally) made pigs on a blanket instead of pigs in a blanket for breakfast.

~~Maybe~~ I am blessed by how much my family helps us.

~~Maybe~~ I got a new camera for my birthday, so I'm back on track with taking hundreds of pictures a month.

~~Maybe~~ I turned 32 and am completely at peace with it.

~~Maybe~~ Danielle does the coolest blog designs ever!

~~Maybe~~ this cooler weather is all I needed to put me in a better mood.

~~Maybe~~ my husband keeps me laughing.

~~Maybe~~ the boys have learned to wave and give "high five." They now want to "high five" all through dinner. How can you not laugh?

~~Maybe~~ Brody tweaked Mason's nose.

~~Maybe~~ Brody's curly hair is just precious.

~~Maybe~~ Mason has the most beautiful blue eyes.

~~Maybe~~ I am so excited about this new season of TV shows- specifically Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.

~~Maybe~~ this is my favorite season of all! I can't wait for colorful leaves, hot apple cider, and pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese icing!

~~Maybe~~ I love change while my husband prefers things to stay the same.

~~Maybe~~ I am doing the best I can.

~~Maybe~~ Mason loves boxes.

~~Maybe~~ I like the boys to have funky hair.

~~Maybe~~ we took the boys to the park this month, and they had a blast!

~~Maybe~~ we also went to the zoo for the first time.

~~Maybe~~ Moxie doesn't want to play ball.

~~Maybe~~ we are a happy family of four.

~~Maybe~~ these boys light up my world.

~~Maybe~~ Brody's mechanical mind intrigues me.

~~Maybe~~ Mason's free spirit and adventurousness makes me panic.

~~Maybe~~ my best friend Leah is the very bestest bestie ever!

~~Maybe~~ my son propped his foot up on the table (and kept it there most of dinner) while we were eating out one night.

~~Maybe~~ Mason unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper.

~~Maybe~~ Brody's expressive eyes crack us up!

~~Maybe~~ Moxie is the most patient dog ever.

~~Maybe~~ the brotherly love is already showing!

~~Maybe~~ my kids are the most amazing gift ever!

I Surrender

2010-09-11T10:44:00.003-05:00

I need to keep in mind that my job is to balance family and work (a tight rope walk) and not lose my ever-loving sanity. Since both Allen and I are working 40+ hours a week and trying to do our best to raise our little fellas, blogging has fallen by the wayside. I wanted to use this blog to document the fun, the laughs, the dreams, and the parenting while trying to hold on to my marriage and friendships and pre-baby activities. Unfortunately, I need to admit doing this is harder than I ever thought it would be. My white surrender flag has been raised. I am not doing a good job at all, and I feel like things are falling apart around me.

It is likely many new parents feel this way, but I am just now to the point where I feel capable of admitting it. Up until the boys were about ten months old, I hadn't quite felt like myself. I still felt that my body was taken over by lack of sleep, post-pregnancy weight, "mush" brain, and going back to work. What I am now truly discovering is that I feel more like myself but less capable of handling it all. And this is a Type A personality admittance EVEN WITH all the help we have. Honestly, my family could not be more supportive. They could not help more than they do. They could not be asked to do anything else for us. And I am still feeling like quite a failure with keeping up with friends, remembering work-related tasks, remembering whose day it is to pick up the kids, unloading the dishwasher, finding time to still be in love with my husband, keeping the house clean, and sending cards to friends on their birthdays. While these tasks may seem menial, they were definitely a big part of my life before children.

Now, I dare not complain about having two boys because my biggest dream in life was accomplished when I became a mother. I want to admit that it is hard. It is so very hard. It is more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. It is the hardest thing I have done since taking sixteen college hours and working a full-time job. Being a parent while continuing on with life's responsibilities tops that by a million times more than a million.

I love my kids, but I feel like I just can't seem to give enough to anyone- friends, Mason, Brody, Allen, blogging, work, and last of all, myself. Time is stretched so thin that when all has finally been competed around the house by 9 PM, all I want to do is sleep. But sleep does not really offer me the quiet, reflective time that my brain needs to process work-related tasks, how to make time for friends, what I will cook for dinner tomorrow night, or how to thank my family for their unending selflessness.

All this being said, I am crying and typing- I cannot do it all. I am doing the best that I can. My Surrender flag is raised, and I surrender. I am sorry I can't do more, but I mentally, physically, and emotionally don't have more to give.

Parenting is hard, and it exposes a lot about yourself that you don't want to admit, although rarely do I think we give ourselves credit for all that we are doing. So, instead of feeling inadequate today, I am going to try and remind myself of everything I AM doing. I am sending prayers up to The Big Guy to help me remember I am only one woman and at the same time waving the white flag to surrender the guilt.

Every day with the boys allows me to see life through new eyes, and I am grateful and honored to have this chance. Each day I learn new things about myself as I parent two vastly unique and different little guys. I love Mason and Brody immensely, wholeheartedly, and without reserves. This is my best and most difficult job. This is my duty and responsibility. Until I can get everything else together, as long as I am honoring my children and teaching them about life, I am doing what needs to be done.

Anyone else want to wave their Surrender flag?

P.S. My dear friend Danielle gave my blog a new update. Isn't she amazing? Don't you just love it? I do! Simple and perfect. Just the opposite of me. Ha! Thanks, sweet friend. You and your work are fabulous!

August

2010-08-26T15:18:00.029-05:00

Well, I posted twice last month and now only once this month. I am failing miserably at staying on top of things and updating my blog. Bummer. Sorry.

I'll make this as fast as possible-

Mason is WALKING! Yes, walking. Actually, maybe I should say running. He moves as fast as those chubby little legs can carry him. He is such a big boy. (see video)

Brody still crawls. Quickly. He crawls quickly.
And Brody still loves Moxie. Here's a video of him laughing hysterically as he sits at the doggy door and "plays" with her. All she wanted to do was come inside the house. Poor Moxie. She's getting more than she bargained for with these two boys!

We are having a hard time keeping up with them, hence the lack of posting.

They are now eating almost all finger foods. We have a few jars of baby food in the pantry that I refuse to waste, but they love eating on their own now.

At ten months, Mason weighed 21.9 pounds, and Brody weighed 21.6 pounds. Mason is 29 1/2 inches and Brody is 29 3/4.

So close in weight and size now.

Mason has started to growl when he eats. I'm dying to get it on camera. He also does this when he fake cries. He lowers his voice, opens his mouth really wide, and lets out this moaning sound that cracks us up.

Brody signs "more" at dinner and has the most hearty laugh. He still shakes his head "no, no" on occasion. His scar from the dermoid cyst removal is very small, and we have been keeping Mederma on it regularly.

The boys go to bed about 7 or 7:30. We feed them a bottle at 8:30 and then they sleep until about 6 AM. We use the after-bed-time to get things done around our house.

Mason is a daddy's boy, and Brody is a Mama's boy. We adore it that they have preferences. It will be interesting to see if they stay this way.

I have been trying to cook easier meals. Allen is so dang picky though, although he will not admit it! I cooked some crock pot dressing chicken that I really liked. Neither he nor the boys ate it. I'm cooking crock pot lasagna tonight. I hope it is delicious. I do cook on the weekends, but Allen is not a fan of leftovers. Boo!

Since both boys are mobile now, we often find random things around the house. I found two socks and a teething pacifier in the bathtub this morning. Ha! There was a wooden spoon in the dog bed, and Allen's undies in the middle of the hallway earlier this week. I had spit up in my shoe today, and the TV remote was outside the doggy door. Good grief!

And Mason and Brody both LOVE the dog food and dog water. We literally run to the dog bowls about fifteen times a day because the boys LOVE to eat the dog food and splash in the dog water. Ugh!

Allen's mom, "Bamaw," bought the boys a Toy Story miniature chair. They love climbing in it, on it, around it, over it...

And can you see the bite marks on Brody's bed? So much for resell value. I guess he needs something for all those teeth!

Mason-

Brody-
And this is what happens when you try to get both boys in one picture together:

To say the least, our lives are "consumed." We sure do love our little Mason and Brody though!

Two posts in one month! I'm on a roll!

2010-07-29T11:34:00.017-05:00

Although life is insanely busy (I can only imagine what it will be like once both boys are playing sports or into various activities), I want to try and do better about updating. I realize every post doesn't have to be years long, but I have to type it all out when I have time.

Instead of bullets, I think I'll switch it up and do numbering. Woo- crazy, I know.

1. A few weeks ago, I was singing to the babies as I fed them breakfast.

Ashley: O-klahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain

And the waving wheat, can sure smell sweet

when the wind comes right behind the rain.

O-klahoma every night my honey lemon lime.

Sit alone and talk . . .

Allen: You do realize you just sang that incorrectly, right?

Ashley: No, I didn't.

Allen: It's not 'my honey lemon lime.' I don't even think they had lemon limes back then.

Ashley: What is it then?

Allen: My honey lamb and I.

Ashley: Seriously? How did I not know that? I've been singing it wrong my whole life.

Allen: Please don't teach the boys your version, Ash.

Ashley: Is there really such a thing as a lemon lime?

Allen: I don't know. Ask your mom. But I wouldn't tell her the reason you are asking....

2. My little Brody had surgery last Friday (July 23) to remove a small lesion on his head. It was a dermoid cyst, but the pediatric surgeon was glad we removed it. It was larger and deeper than the ultrasound showed and was eroding his skull. He's on the mend and doing well but needless to say, we've had a bit of a crankster on our hands. I sure do think he looks handsome and tough with his war wound though! My little man is such a trooper!

My best friend, Leah, came into town from Houston for the surgery. Bless her heart. I needed her for emotional support, and it was nice to have her around to help juggle both of the boys while Brody was recovering. Thanks, friend. The boys already miss their Aunt Leah, and we already miss your help! HA! Come back soon! You are the bestest, and I love you the mostest!

3. Mason started walking with a walker. He is getting so brave and takes about ten or twelve steps on his own and then crashes. It won't be long before he is truly mobile. Watch out world; here he comes! He also has two more upper teeth coming in and has been Sir Drools A Lot.

4. I received a text from Allen at work the other day that made me laugh out loud: "Just caught Mason swishing toilet with wooden spoon." I used that same spoon to serve my little buddy dinner. Kidding!

5. I've recently learned some hard lessons on keeping my mouth shut. Not easy for an opinionated person like myself, but a lesson that needed to be learned, nonetheless.

6. We are on the road to planning Mason and Brody's first birthday party. I know this first year is more about the parents than the babies, but I am getting excited about it!

7. Work is about to get even more insanely busy than it has been. And Allen goes back to pre-school activities next week. I have a feeling we're both going to be exhausted before we even get to next week. HA!

8. My mom has volunteered to watch the boys for us this school year. (She may retire after Christmas after watching them five days a week) Can you even imagine how amazing she is? Can you even consider how much money we'll be saving and how much extra attention and love they will get? Can you even imagine how worn out SHE is going to be? Thank you, mom, for your never-ending support. You are so amazing. The boys are lucky to have you as their Mimi.

9. Can I just tell you how much my Mason and Brody are loved? From the small-to-you but huge-to-us acts of kindness (sweet cards, meals to the house, toys and clothes) to the large donations of time (babysitting, laundry and ironing, keeping the boys overnight, help on the weekends), we are thankful to have so many people to love on our little fellas. We are proud of them, and they are easy to share because they are so fun!

10. I'm so behind on many of my DVRd shows! I love to watch Hell's Kitchen, So You Think You Can Dance, and Cake Boss. I'm about four weeks behind on all these shows (and a few more) which sometimes seems pretty overwhelming. I just figure the most important things are being taken care of right now- my boys and my sleep.

11. I have to give props to my husband. I cannot tell you how amazing Allen is with our boys. He is so involved, knows their schedule, changes their diapers, bathes them, makes bottles, empties the dishwasher with the boys hanging all over him, laughs with them, sings to them, rocks them, and loves all them. Mason and Brody are lucky to have a father so involved with every aspect of their lives. I know some of our friends have admitted they only wished their husbands would help as much, and I know how lucky I am to have him! Love you, babe! Keep up the great work.

12. Man alive I am having a difficult time keeping up with the adult meals at our house. We need cheap and easy and fast. If I don't have a meal ready by the time the boys finish eating (at about 5:15), forget dinner for us! We have been spending way too much money eating out, both at restaurants and take out, and we need to do better. I usually cook on the weekends because I have the time, but during the week is a different story. If/When we eat at home, we often end up eating peanut butter, a salad, TV dinners, soup from a can, or leftovers from the weekends. It gets boring rather quickly. Anyone have any fast and cheap recipes? I'm totally open to ideas.

Mason:

Brody:

13. The boys have found a new escape route- the doggy door! Argh! If we can't find them, we just have to look outside.

14. Mason and Brody are becoming more and more aware of each other. We love it!

P.S. I know the pictures have issues and some are larger than others. I've re-sized and uploaded about five times and need help because I obviously can't figure it out myself. Argh! Sorry!

I Know . . .

2010-07-13T20:40:00.057-05:00

I know I haven't been keeping up with my blog very well.

I know I haven't been a good listener recently.
I know my babies are growing up too quickly and merely typing that brings tears to my eyes.

I know having twins is exhausting, but I wouldn't choose to have it any other way.

I know I can barely keep up with life right now.
I know I love champagne.
I know Brody has two more teeth coming for a grand total of 9!I know Mason is standing up by himself in the middle of the room.

I know my family is so supportive and helpful with our precious boys.
I know I'm having a hard time emotionally right now.
I know my head and heart disagree at times.
I know the boys' crawling styles are completely different.

I know Mason loves his Daddy.
I know I have been working my rear off at work.
I know Mason has been spitting up like crazy, but the doctor says he is just an active little boy.
I know Brody has been needy and cranky, likely due to all his teeth coming in at once.

I know I have neglected some of my friends.

I know Sam's has double-wide shopping carts that make our shopping trips much easier.I know I get to watch about an hour of TV a week.

I know that sleep sounds dreamy, but I've been having trouble sleeping.
I know my back hurts from hauling around two little dudes.I know two of my friends said my boys weight more than their older children.
I know I've been having a hard time coping with my babies growing up so quickly.
I know I have a hard time remembering things; if I don't write it down, it doesn't get done..
I know I'm finding it difficult to concentrate because I haven't been sleeping well and I have so much on my mind.

I know Allen likes cigars but rarely has time to smoke them.
I know I need to clear my mind.
I know I need to pray more.
I know I'm thankful for my husband.
I know my babies make me smile every single day. I know I use my phone to "check out" when I need down time.
I know Brody is in love with our dog, Moxie.

I know Allen is an amazing father!
I know Brody started signing "milk" about a month ago.
I know it is going to be great when both of the boys start signing back to us on a regular basis.
I know I need to cook more and eat out less often.

I know I need to cut myself some slack.

I know my boys love their bath!

I know both of the boys love when we wear hats.
I know I need to send some cards in the mail.
I know I am stressed.
I know I need to tell people more often how much I appreciate them and am thankful for them.
I know I need to get out of the house more.
I know I need to drink more water.
I know I need more sunshine.
I know Allen and I thoroughly enjoyed our mini-getaway for our 8th anniversary.

I know the boys are lucky to have such wonderful grandparents.
I know I am loved.
I know I would go ziplining again in a heartbeat.

I know I need more humor in my life.

I know I need to be less serious.
I know I crave coffee when I am tired.
I know we can't have another baby right now.
I know I care.
I know I can't sleep because I care.

I know wax museum people remind me of a dead person in an open casket. Creepy!

I know the boys are more aware of each other now.

I know Mason's chubby arms and legs are adorable.
I know I need to paint my fingernails and stop biting two of them down to the quick.
I know I need more time for relaxation.
I know I need to be more thoughtful.
I know I need to unplug from technology during the evenings so I can spend more time with my family.
I know I like to be loved and needed.
I know Allen likes my hair better blond.

I know my boys are loved.
I know I offer my opinion when sometimes I should just listen.
I know I need to change the sheets on the boys' beds.
I know I need to give my dogs some attention.
I know I can't stand to think of my life without these babies.
I know it cracks me up when Brody shakes his head, "no, no, no, no" and then his brother starts doing it too.

I know I need to take advantage of each stage of the boys' lives.
I know Mason always wants to have the toy his brother has.
I know my roles have changed since becoming a mother.
I know I have never seen so much poop come out of something so little.
I know I have never smelled anything as rancid either.
I know I need help more then I like to admit and more than I ever have right now.
I know I have a full plate.
I know I love my best friend wholeheartedly. I know I need to learn to say "No."
I know my life will never be the same.
I know this is all just a part of life.
I know the boys have discovered the doggy door.
I know I have learned from my mistakes.
I know I still make mistakes.
I know I don't like waterproof mascara.
I know life is moving way too fast!

What do you know?

The Glass House

2010-06-21T14:23:00.002-05:00

There once was a lady that lived in a beautiful glass house. She loved her life, her husband, and her children, but the glass house had small fissures erupting everywhere, causing the foundation to wobble....

Each fissure was tiny and insignificant alone, but together, they created a rockiness the sturdy and beautiful house had never known. The stained glass windows were dingy and seemed dark. The carpets were dank. The sunshine was rarely let in because of the filth, although any glimpse of brightness lit up everything in the room with a sparkling glow. The glow, the reflection- awe-inspiring and a sight to behold.

The inhabitants, mere robots, continued on the schedule the Master had laid before them. They worked and worked and worked, never taking a break but always tiring before the batteries of life had time to rejuvenate.

The roof leaked, but the leak created an opening for more light, more hope. Each new task, such as the roof, however, brought more stress and strain on top of the already over-worked robots. But they continued on, for the glory and the light and the small fissures would surely give way to the dark if they didn't.

Seven and a half months

2010-05-29T09:48:00.022-05:00

My sweet boys are just growing up way too fast. They are so fun, but I want time to stand still.

Mason:

Weighs 18.9 pounds (50-75th percentile)
26 3/4 inches tall (50th percentile)
Is crawling as fast as we can catch him
Is now beginning to eat table food along with his baby food and really likes turkey deli meat, prunes, and macaroni and cheese
Still has the most gorgeous blue eyes
Sits up on his own
Naps about two hours a day (an hour in the AM and an hour in the PM)
Chews on everything
Is attracted to cords
Likes to spit his food when he is finished eating what you have given him
Has an adorable chuckle, although he doesn't laugh as often as Brody
Is content playing on his own
Has one tooth coming in on the bottom
Bullies his brother

Brody:

Weighs 18.6 pounds (50-75th percentile and is catching up to his brother)
Is 27 1/4 inches long (75th percentile)
Is long and lean
Not interested in crawling but rolls to get what he wants
Has FIVE teeth (three on the bottom and two more coming in on the top)
Laughs and smiles all the time
Prefers to be entertained and in the room with you
Cries when you walk out of the room and leave him
Is a good eater and really likes Vienna sausages, turkey deli meat, and peas
Naps 3-4 hours per day and is an excellent sleeper during naps and at night
Has been a bit cranky because he has so many teeth coming in at the same time
Chews on anything and everything he can get his hands on
Laughs and grins from ear to ear often
Adores Moxie and Tucker and laughs at them and watches them anytime they are around his play area
Loves to splash water everywhere when taking a bath
Doesn't sit up on his own for very long yet

My sweet boys are going for their first overnight trip this evening at my mom's house. Allen is geeking- not because my mom is taking care of them but because we are "abandoning them." Really? I'm stoked to get an extra hour or two of sleep tomorrow! Allen keeps asking me how I can "just let them go so easily." They are seven and a half months, you know. Geez.

We upgraded to the next car seat size, and both boys are pleased with how much room they have to move now.

We're still in love, but how can you not be with these faces? I've only (literally) taken 406 pictures of the babies during the month of May. That's not too many, is it? I'll have just about every second of their lives documented! HA! Hey- at least they will know they were loved. My children will NEVER be able to say I didn't have pictures of them while they were growing up! I mean, 406 in one month should count for something, right? Maybe it will keep me out of a nursing home for an extra month when I'm old and decrepit.

Favorite Pics

2010-05-14T15:17:00.001-05:00

Leah's Beef Pot Pie

2010-05-14T15:16:00.012-05:00

1 pound ground beef (drained)
1 can Veg-All mixed vegetables (drained)
1 can diced potatoes (drained)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
2 pie shells (I buy the frozen ones)
2-3 cups cheddar cheese
salt and pepper for seasoning

Once your ground beef has been cooked and drained, mix vegetables and soup into it. Pour the mixture into the pie shell. Cover with cheddar cheese. Take the other pie shell and lay it on top of the cheese. Pinch sides together with other pie crust so it doesn't overflow while cooking.

Cook at 350 degrees for 30-45 minutes or until top pie crust is light brown.

It is scrumptious and easy! Thanks for the recipe, Aunt Leah! We love your pot pie, even if yours does look prettier than mine.

Bucket List

2010-05-14T15:16:00.009-05:00

On my Bucket List-

Take a photography class
Take a cooking class
Take a cake-decorating class
Buy a $100 bottle of champagne and drink it with dear friends
Go on an Alaskan cruise with my husband
Got to Jamaica
Waste less food

What's on yours?

"Babe Questions"

2010-05-14T15:16:00.007-05:00

A little more than six months

2010-04-24T15:33:00.030-05:00

I'm such an awful blogger. The boys turned six months old, and I didn't even post about it. Well, this is about a week and a half late, but hey- better late than never.

Mason is hilarious! He screams, and I mean SCREAMS at the top of his lungs. Not because he is unhappy or mad but rather to be HEARD. And trust me, you hear him! Mason's hair goes back and forth from looking blonde to looking auburn, but his eyes have stayed blue. He wears size 3 diapers and size 12 month clothes. He is very oral and wants to put everything in his mouth. He drools like crazy and spits up occasionally too. He is better with his eye-hand coordination than Brody and is actually super close to crawling. He "scoots" backwards on his belly which we find too cute, and he can almost get his knees up under himself to crawl. I'm anxious to see if he crawls forward or backward first. HA! He really likes the jumping swing that hangs from our door trim. Although he goes to sleep easily, he does not stay asleep as long and definitely doesn't sleep as hard as Brody. He sleeps from about 9 PM - 6 AM but wakes up a few times per night because he is on his belly or wants his pacifier. Mason is a happy boy that loves to be snuggled, kissed and held.

Brody is still our "intense one." He looks at you and the minute he sees that you are looking at him, he smiles from ear to ear. Brody's eyes are brown and his hair is coming in super dark. We love it. Brody hasn't quite learned to scoot the way Mason has, but he has learned to roll back and forth. Brody wears a size three diaper and nine month clothes. He is long and lean. Brody's favorite toy is still the jumperoo. It takes us longer to get Brody to sleep because he is such a busybody, but once he is asleep, he sleeps long and hard. We rarely have to wake up in the middle of the night with him; he sleeps from about 9 PM to 6 AM, usually without waking. Woohoo! Brody is also still infatuated with the dogs. He adores Moxie; he stares at her and holds his hand out to touch her when she walks near him. Tucker would rather not be bothered. Brody is a bit more serious than Mason, but his smile is absolutely amazing! He does tend to laugh more heartily and loudly than Mason, but overall, he is definitely more quiet than his brother. Brody is adorable and independent!

Both the boys are rolling all over the place. We put them in one spot, leave the room, and they are across the room before we know it. So far, the boys have eaten applesauce, carrots, green beans, peas, sweet potatoes, squash, and oatmeal. I would say Mason's favorite is applesauce and carrots, and Brody's favorite is squash and applesauce. Mason is a slob when he eats; he spits the food out about three times before he finally eats that one bite. You have to be really patient with him, and he usually needs a bot of coercing to eat. I have a feeling he is going to be a picky pants eater like his Daddy. Brody, on the other hand, likes almost anything you give him (just like his Mama) and is a neat and tidy eater. He holds his sweet little mouth open like a baby bird, patiently waiting for its Mama to drop in the food. He also has a bottom tooth coming in already!

Honestly, I love these boys both so much and appreciate their distinct differences.

The general consensus is that Mason looks like Allen and Brody looks like me; I haven't decided if I agree yet. What's your opinion on who they resemble?

This is my favorite stage thus far. I am loving everything about motherhood! Thanks for being a part of our adventure; every day is a new day around our house!

I've included a few short videos of the boys and several pics. It's the least I could do since I don't get to post very often. Based on my descriptions, I am sure you'll be able to tell which video is which child. HA!

Pssssst..... I have a secret to tell you, brother!

Play time

Mama and her boys

Two smiles for cool shirts!

Honey Bunnies

2010-04-04T09:38:00.010-05:00

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes & Magical Elves

2010-04-01T11:43:00.015-05:00

Things are changing quickly around our house, both with babies and their parents.

Allen stayed home with the boys after my maternity leave ended in December. He was home with them for almost three months but recently took a full-time subbing position until the end of the school year. Although we were both excited about some extra income, babies and Allen were sad their time together had to end. Allen was a marvelous stay-at-home-dad, but money to pay the bills is a necessity! Thus, Allen is back to work until at least the end of May. Thankfully, my family is watching the boys for us for the next nine weeks. For free I might add. Let me retype that: My family is providing free childcare for us. All week. My grandmas are watching the boys two days a week at our house, and then I am taking the boys to my mom's house three days a week. Can we be any more ~~spoiled~~ loved?

The boys are getting so big! Mason is rolling from his back to his belly in the blink of an eye. He is wearing 12-month onesies and sleepers and is "talking" every day. I need to capture his cooing on video because he is funny and so loud and makes the cutest faces when he does it. He loves men and responds better to men than women. So funny and interesting. His blue eyes have stolen our hearts, but his crying episodes have been keeping us awake at night. For some reason, Mason, aka "Chewy," has been waking anywhere from 2-6 times a night because he wants his pacifier, because he has an arm or leg caught in the crib rails, or because he is awake and wants to be held. Ugh! We went from both babies sleeping about six hours at a stretch to Mason waking about every 2-3 hours. I'm not going to lie; his sleep issues have us scratching our heads and pulling out our hair. I told Allen I felt more exhausted now than I did when we first brought the babies home. Thankfully, Chewy is a cutie, so we can't get too mad about our lack of sleep.

BrodyBoo hasn't been as fond of rolling over or talking as Mason, but he is in love with animals. He adores Moxie, and she is the kindest and most patient dog when he happens to grab a fistful of her hair or beard with his death-defying grip. He is wearing 6-9 months onesies and sleepers. He bounces in the jumperoo for long bouts of time and is a hard sleeper. He also scares easily; if you sneak up on him or talk to him loudly when he isn't expecting it, he cries. He loves to be jostled about and laughs and smiles often.

Both boys are now eating rice cereal twice a day but still take bottles every three hours. We started them on baby food about three weeks ago. They loved peas and carrots, but Brody had an allergic reaction to the carrots; thus we're back on cereal for another week before we try squash.

I've had some major epiphanies this past week about how fortunate Allen and I are to have friends and family on our side. Over Spring Break my best friend, Leah, and her family came to visit from Texas. Leah and her family are my second family. They love and accept me for the ~~insane~~ goofy chick I am, and I adore them for that. They love my husband and the boys just as much. I am so thankful for Leah and her brother (Travis) and sister (Elissa) and mom (Becky) and dad (David) and niece (Bailey). The whole family is genuine and amazing and fun. In fact, the relationship Leah has with her siblings and parents is one I hope I can use as a model for my own family. They all support each other 100% and enjoy being together. I didn't take many pictures of their visit, but it meant the world to me nonetheless. My bestest friend Peah, I love you and your family so much. Thank you for loving us back.

In addition to the love and support my best friend and her family show, my family is working triple-time! I was driving to work today thinking about how lucky we are to be surrounded by people who are more-than-happy to help us.

Last Monday my grandma Sandy and grandma Lucy were at our house watching the boys while Allen and I were at work. I left laundry in the garage in piles ~~hoping they would get it done~~ in case they happened to have some spare time.... Needless to say, when I got home from work, all five loads had been washed, dried, and folded and our bed made. It's like we have Santa's magical elves helping us daily. On Tuesday, Lucy and Sandy decided to make a wonderful Mexican casserole for us for dinner. My grandma wasn't too keen on my Pam.pered Chef hand-held can opener and called me at work for help on how to use it. Thank goodness I didn't tell her that she had to be smarter than the can opener. Instead, I tried my best to explain how to use it over the phone. Since she ~~wasn't smarter than our can opener~~ couldn't figure out how to work our can opener, we now have a brand spanking new chrome and black electric one sitting on our kitchen cabinet, courtesy of grandma Lucy. So, not only did we get free childcare on Monday and Tuesday, we were blessed by magical elves that took care of our babies, pranced around the house and did laundry and made our bed, flew to the store to get a new electric can opener that matches our kitchen (because matching is very important), and dashed around the kitchen to make dinner for us. And I also forgot to mention that we have more laundry detergent in our pantry because the elves thought we were running low. Thank you Sandy and Lucy; we can't wait to see what next week brings! HA!

Then today as I dropped my sweet little dudes off at my mom's house for free childcare, she asked if I had packed a lunch. I had, but it was a Lean Not-so-Cuisine. She had just finished making tuna pasta salad and packed some in a Tupper.ware container for me to take for a delicious lunch. I had already packed chocolate chocolate chip cookies she made the day before, so I had a fabulous home-made (not by me) lunch & dessert. My sweet mom can do it all. Really. She keeps my boys, bathes them, takes them on walks, and loves her grand babies. She is a miracle worker and goes above and beyond to help us every single week. Another day, another magical elf.

As I type this, I am getting teary-eyed thinking about how much love and support we are shown. We are blessed beyond measure to have people that can take care of our boys and love them and hold them and feed them and cuddle them and sing to them every single day. People that care. People with endless generosity. People that love. Most people have to take their kids to daycare and leave them. It is not necessarily what they want to do, but it is what they have to do. I make no qualms about saying that it is likely our boys will eventually have to go to daycare like most other kids have to do. But right now, we are soaking up the love and help and miraculousness of the magical elves that are making every day just like Christmas around our house.

Thank you, family, for your love, help, commitment, and support. There is not one day that passes that we don't notice or appreciate every single thing you do.

It's Okay!

2010-03-01T14:14:00.016-06:00

It's okay to miss being pregnant.

It's ok that I bite only my middle fingernails on both hands.

It's okay that I cry when I look at pictures of the boys when they were first born.

It's Oh Kay to smell your armpits to make sure you don't stink.

It's okay to go into the nursery while the boys are sleeping and cry because I am so thankful.

It's O.K. that Allen and I fuss with each other because we are exhausted.

It's okay that I rarely have time to read a magazine or check emails anymore.

It's OK that I usually only get to blog once a month.

It's okay that my wedding ring doesn't fit anymore.

It's ok that I haven't been cooking often.

It's okay that on weekends I often stay in my pajamas all day.

It's okay to not get everything on my "To Do" list accomplished.

It's OK that I sometimes get mad at myself for not being as organized as I was before I got pregnant because I'm still (likely) more organized than 85% of the population.

It's ok that some days I am so tired I don't want to talk to anyone.

It's OK that some days I don't accomplish anything but loving my babies.

It's ok that our house isn't as tidy as it was before the babies arrived.

It's okay that I don't get naps anymore.

It's ok to get upset on days I don't have more than five minutes to myself.

It's OK that my body doesn't look like it used to anymore.

It's Oh Kay to laugh so hard you cry.

It's okay to want more kids and yet be scared to death of having more.

It's okay that some of my friends don't call as often.

It's ok that I take a bajillion million zillion pictures of Mason and Brody.

It's Oh Kay that sometimes I get peed on when changing diapers.

It's ok that most of my lounging clothes have spit-up stains on the shoulder.

It's okay that our dogs don't get as much attention as they used to before we had two infants.

It's okay that I sometimes forget birthdays now.

It's okay that my full brain still hasn't returned from maternity leave.

It's ok to cuddle with the dogs because I need it.

It's ok to put up boundaries.

It's OK for me to withdraw from life every once in a while.

It's ok that I feel guilty for not being nicer to my husband.

It's OK that we are now a family of four.

It's ok to go out and eat every once in a while.

It's okay to recognize I am not perfect and never was.

It's Oh Kay that my laundry piles up on my closet floor, and I do it only when I run out of undies.

It's ok to ask for help.

It's OK to need help.

It's ok to feel sad about my babies growing up and getting bigger.

It's O.K. to feel like I need some alone time every once in a while.

It's okay that my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be.

It's O.K. that my car hasn't been clean in more than a year.

It's okay that my priorities have changed.

It's Ok that some people can't handle both of the babies at the same time.

It's ok to admit that my husband might be a better stay-at-home-dad than I was a stay-at-home-mom.

It's okay that there are days that Allen and I want to strangle each other.

It's OK that I miss my best friend so deeply and earnestly it makes me ache.

It's okay that I'm hard on myself for forgetting things that are important (my mother-in-law's birthday and accidentally taking a dress that my best friend loved to consignment).

It's okay to love my kids with all my heart.

It's Oh Kay to ask silly questions like, "Are you my friend? "

It's ok to feel empathy for those still struggling to have children and guilt because I have mine.

It's okay that we don't have the kind of money we had before we had babies.

It's ok that sometimes I just want to lie in bed and listen to the boys coo in their cribs.

It's Oh Kay to laugh when Allen dances because friends, it is hilarious!

It's OK to curse.

It's ok to feel stressed when both babies are screaming.

It's O.K. to sometimes need a break from both my husband and the babies.

It's OK to wonder about job security.

It's Oh Kay to have cravings when you are not pregnant.

It's Oh Kay to stink up the bathroom every once in a while.

It's O.K. to have dreams.

It's okay to wonder about the future.

It's ok to spoil your husband.

It's ok to want more out of life.

It's O.K. to think about "what might have been."

It's okay to have battle wounds.

It's okay to know you are loved.

It's Oh Kay to burp loudly in front of your husband.

It's OK to admit you are wrong.

It's Oh Kay to poke fun at your spouse because he takes longer to get ready than you do.

It's ok to wear black frequently because you like it and because it hides the baby weight you may still have.

It's Oh Kay to sing at the top of your lungs and scare your children.

It's O.K. that I cry when I think about how much my babies have grown.

It's okay to not know what the future holds.

It's ok to take one day at a time.

It's OK to keep things that hold a special place in your heart.

It's Oh Kay to admit I like some of Dolly Parton's music.

It's O.K. to just be "okay" instead of "great" some days.

It's okay to say "no."

It's Oh Kay to smell your child's butt to see if he has a poopy diaper.

It's O.K. to need hugs.

It's ok to let people know I have twins and am doing the best I can.

It's Oh Kay to need a little something sweet after every meal.

It's okay for people to talk about you behind your back because they are going to say what they want to say anyway.

It's OK not to know your purpose in life.

It's all going to be OKAY!

Night and Day

2010-02-07T19:41:00.023-06:00

Two years apart, my brother and I are complete opposites, and many families have this exact same scenario as well. Two siblings, born of the same mother and father, yet different as can be.

But it completely blows my mind to have two boys, same mother and father, carried in utero at the same time, and born on the same day (one minute apart, in fact) that are diverse in every sense of the word. I know our boys are fraternal twins, but it still shocks me at how different they are. And trust me, I am happy about this. I prefer two diametric creatures with distinct looks and personalities, and that is exactly what I got - babies that are opposite in every way, night and day differences, and amazing both together and separate.

Allen and I have heard that twins can switch personalities and characteristics for several years after birth. So far, ours have stayed true to themselves even from their time in the womb. Because they are different as night and day, I wanted to make sure and remember their characteristics early on to see if they change later.

Mason

Mason was "Baby A" in my belly. He was head down and positioned so low in the birth canal that my doctors predicted the boys would make an early appearance into the world. He was "stuck" in that position for the last few months of my pregnancy. He is our cuddler. He loves nothing more than to be talked to and held and rocked and cuddled.
He is laid back, happy-go-lucky, and calm. He smiles often and sometimes acts very shy when he smiles at you.
He has auburn hair and long eyelashes with big blue eyes on a round, pale yet rosy-cheeked face.
He is much larger and rounder than Brody. From his chubby little fingers and toes to his sweet little ankles and thighs, his fat rolls make him even more kissable.
Mason is our verbal fella. He coos and babbles, is easily entertained, and can entertain himself for longer bouts of time than his brother. His talking is of varied pitches and when his voice goes really high, he likes to put his head down a little and roll his eyes back. He's such a goober.
He is content sitting in your lap watching you or facing outward to see the entire room. He can often be caught watching the TV, and he loves black and white photos.
Mister Mason loves his pacifiers. Any color, any brand, any type- he's not prejudice; he loves them all. He has even started sucking on his hands and making smacking noises. Hey- at least his hands are empty calories. HA!
Because of his roundness, he doesn't hold his head up as well and can't "stand" on his legs as long as Brody. But he sure is cute looking up at you with those big blue eyes and flashing his super grin!
Mason is a daddy's boy! Allen can get him to smile and coo more than anyone, and once he hears his daddy's voice, Mason forgets anyone else exists.
He wears a size 6-9 month sleeper, size 2 diapers, and drinks a 4-5 ounce bottle with a Level 3 nipple every three or three and a half hours. We recently started adding a Tablespoon of rice cereal to a few of his bottles too. The child will definitely let you know if it is dinner. Like his mama, he prefers not to skip meals.
Mason was on some medication for reflux, but we have taken him off of it because we felt it made him grumpy and irritable. He tends to have more belly issues than Brody and definitely isn't as "regular" as his brother.
He recently started a new thing where he holds his hands a funny way, like the Italians do in the movies. We often ask him "if he wantsa some spaghetti" and "if he needs to drinka summa vino."
His nicknames are "Chewy," "Chubbs," "Buttercup," and "Tooty," all said in the nicest way possible, of course.

Brody

Chief Brody was "Baby B" and moved constantly in my belly. He kicked and punched and rolled because he was positioned crosswise across the top of my stomach and had room to be a "mover and a shaker."
He is independent and prefers you to hold him up on his feet so he look around the room. He usually has his hands and feet moving and does well holding his head up by himself for long periods of time.
Brody has a great smile too, but he chuckles more than Mason. Where Mason has a more reserved giggle, Brody's laugh is big and loud. He doesn't laugh a ton yet, but it cracks us up when he does.
There isn't one spot that Brody prefers as long as he can move and look around the room. Mason does better in one place, but we often play the juggling game with Brody, moving him from the floor to our lap to the swing to the vibrating chair to the play mat to the Bumbo chair and then repeating.
Brody has curly hair (especially when it is wet), although he has less hair than Mason. His eyes have already started turning brown and his eyelashes are dark. His skin is olive-colored.
He weighs less and is thinner than Mason and has been since birth.
Brody growls when he talks. His cooing isn't as high-pitched as Mason's, and he acts like it takes a great deal of effort for him to "talk" to you. He's pretty proud after he talks to you and often only gets one little "Grrrrrrr" out before he grins from ear to ear.
He's happy when moving and loves you to hold him and walk; life without movement is boring to our little man.
He sits much better in the Bumbo chair than Mason because he is able to hold his head up better, although he won't stay in it long unless he can see what is happening around the room.
The Chief loathes pacifiers (and will literally spit it across the room if you try to put one in his mouth) but loves to suck and chew on your fingers and his too.
He drinks 5-7 ounces from a Level 2 nipple every three to three and a half hours and wears a 3-6 month sleeper. As Mason outgrows clothes, Brody gets to wear them.
Brody takes a stomach medication twice a day to help him digest formula a it better. Overall, it has helped immensely with his fussiness.
His nicknames are "Brother," "Chief," "Fussypants," and "Scooter." Again, all are said in the sweetest baby voices and meant with nothing but fondness.
Brody likes to help you hold his bottle and grabs on to our skin, shirt, necklace or whatever is in his reach. He has left marks on my arm from pinching so hard. This little dude can best be described as "intense."

Different as night and day, they both have redeeming and heart-warming qualities. We're so darn in love with these little dudes! These boys have made our patience stronger, our laughs louder and more frequent, our days longer and nights shorter, and most importantly, they have increased our hope and commitment to the future. Thank God for answered prayers!

Too Cool for Blue

2010-02-07T19:13:00.010-06:00

I have a few friends that entered Mandy's photo contest, so I decided I would too. Here's my favorite picture of the boys thus far, which most of you have already seen if you read the previous post; it makes me smile every time I see it~

The Lucky Leprechaun

2010-01-11T15:19:00.025-06:00

Leprechauns are amazing and adventurous little creatures! They have one of the most complex yet rewarding jobs- climbing rainbows. Who would have thought those little guys could maneuver their way over one of God's most beautiful creations to the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? It must be a daunting task for those little dudes to stand at the base of a rainbow and see the hurdles they must endure to get to the pot of gold clear on the other side. Exhausting and exhilarating, I'm sure.

I often feel like The Lucky Leprechaun at the end of my days. My emotions range from utter exhaustion to complete awe at the two little lives we are responsible for and love so deeply and completely. The feedings, diaper changes, the crying, singing, talking and cooing, scheduling, coordinating, tricks, baths, babbling and sleepless nights drain every ounce of energy and energy reserves I have daily. In fact, my reserves are now deficit and the deficits have deficits. But each day I get to hold, snuggle, love, adore, rock, and whisper sweet nothings into my baby boy's ears, a dream I wasn't sure would ever come true.

Just like The Lucky Leprechaun, there are good days and bad days. Days that seem never-ending and days that are so fast and furious that I wonder where the time went. I'm sure The Lucky Leprechaun often wished he was Superman like me too, but I had to let that title go because I put too much stress on myself trying to be more than I could or had to offer.

I love being a mom, don't get me wrong, but right now the exhaustion rules the rainbow. I try to take advantage of every minute I have with the babies- I miss them terribly while I am at work and their time as babies will come to an end more quickly than I can imagine. That means that email, phone calls, this blog, housework, projects, and a plethora of other things often suffer. Time is precious; my home time is monumental, and the rainbows and pots of gold are a waitin'!

Lucky Leprechauns..... amazing, adventurous, exhausting, and exhilarating!

Best Christmas Gifts EVER!

2009-12-25T19:02:00.010-06:00

I'm not sure anything can EVER top the most beautiful and wonderful Christmas gifts I received this year.

Do you know what they are?

I bet you do........

I cry every time I think about how amazing this Christmas has been .... Santa sure was good to me this year- TWO beautiful baby boys and an amazing husband!

I hope Santa was just as good to you this year as he was to me!

Merry Christmas all!

Worth Their Weight in Gold

2009-12-17T15:21:00.018-06:00

I still cannot believe we have two precious baby boys! Time seems to escape me on a daily basis, and I find myself wanting to post all that is happening but having no time to do so.

It may be easier for me to post in bullet points for a while and just upload a few pictures rather than trying to upload lengthy posts like this one. Of course, that's hard to do when it has been five weeks since I posted. Oops!

The boys are terrific. Both Mason and Brody have nearly doubled their weight since birth. At our doctor's visit last week, Mason weighed 10 pounds and 12 ounces; Brody weighed 9 pounds and 5 ounces. They have outgrown newborn clothes, and Mason has almost outgrown 0-3 month clothes. Mason is really a chunk, and it is hilarious. They are currently in Pam.pers size 1-2 diapers but will be outgrowing those soon as well. Both of the boys are enamored with the lights on our Christmas tree. I told Allen we may need to leave it up for several months for their entertainment. He didn't find that comment amusing.

After losing most of his hair in the front, Brody has started to grow some of his dark hair back. He has a small hemangioma on his left side that the doctor has told us not to worry about at this point. It is about the size of half of a pencil eraser and will get much larger in the next few years due to rapid growth, but the pediatrician said 98% of them go away on their own by a child's fifth or sixth birthday. Brody is still smaller than Mason, and although there is only about a pound a half difference between them, it feels more like five. Brody eats about three and a half to four ounces at every feeding. He has become more verbal than Mason and his smiles are less frequent. His stares at you with an intensity that makes you wonder what he is thinking. He even tracks you with his eyes as you walk past him often making me feel guilty when I leave him wide awake in his crib after the 2 AM meal. Brody has his Daddy's hair- a bit curly and very dark. He is constantly in motion. He loves to move his arms and legs, holds his head up for several seconds pretty well on his own, and is actually stronger than Mason despite being the smaller baby. Brody is more independent than Mason and tends to be cold often. We have to keep him bundled up or he is not a happy camper.

Mason has more hair than Brody, and it is much lighter in color with no curl at all. This guy usually wakes up with a smile on his face, and his grin always makes me chuckle. The child loves to be naked! During diaper changes and bath time, he is all smiles! Ingrained in the male species, he loves to lift his leg when he toots. It cracks Allen and me up every time he does it. Mason is a hefty dude, eating about five ounces at every feeding. Mason coos more than Brody right now, and his eyes are much more blue. I think Brody's eyes will turn brown, but we may actually get a blue-eyed baby with Mason. Mason has to be wrapped tightly or he wakes himself with his flailing arms and legs. He is a much lighter sleeper than Brody as well. Mason tends to spit up often, and Allen thinks he may have acid reflux, which I need to ask the doctor about when we go in January. He is a snuggler and loves to bury his head in your neck. He loves to be rocked and held, something we have had to really work on because he got to where he wouldn't go to sleep without being rocked first.

We have finally conquered a schedule that works for us. Yippee! The babies eat every three to three and a half hours during the day and about every four hours at night. We feed them at 10 PM, and then they typically wake up about 2 AM and then around 6 AM. They are staying awake much longer now too, so getting things done is difficult. "Multi-tasker" will soon be my legal middle name. HA! I'm also feeling more competent as a parent. The first two months were rough, and there were many times I felt like a failure, including the time Mason fell off the rocker while I was putting Brody back in his crib (he was fine). Things are settling in and along with managing babies, I am learning to be a mother while also juggling the role of a wife. Of course, now that I've got it all figured out, my maternity leave is over and I start back to work. Just like life- as soon as you get things figured out, it changes.

Allen and I haven't ventured out to dinner or on errands with the babies yet. My mom and I have taken them shopping a few times, and we even went to visit Santa at the mall. I keep pressuring Allen to take us all out to dinner, but he's scared to death the babies will start screaming and we'll have to pack up and leave. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first or last time.... I'm not brave enough to go to the movies with infants like many of you are, but dinner seems like something we could conquer. Anyone have any stories about your first outing with your baby or babies?

We have honestly struck gold with these boys; I feel like we won the lottery! They have brought me more joy than words can describe; even typing this simple statement this brings tears to my eyes. I am so grateful and utterly blessed that they chose us to be their parents. The holidays are a time for cheer, fun, and good will, all of which we have. I am more than thankful this holiday season....

A New Normal

2009-11-11T10:53:00.042-06:00

First of all, a big thanks to Danielle for posting for us once the babies arrived. Thanks, chica. You are so good to me.

We went in for a scheduled c-section on October 16. Thankfully, the babies waited for their Aunt Leah to arrive from out of town prior to making their appearance; both my ObGyn and Perinatologist didn't think the babies would hold off until the 16th. Of course, being a planner and my kids, they waited! Woohoo! I was 37 weeks and 3 days when the babies were delivered and am thankful that my body held up and that the babies didn't have any problems whatsoever at birth.

Here's a rundown of the babies' birth story:

We got to the hospital about 5:30 AM and were admitted. An IV was started and all our paperwork was filled out by 6:00 AM. From there, it was a whirlwind.... the anesthesiologist came in and told us what to expect with the spinal. He confirmed Allen and Aunt Leah could both be in the delivery room. The doctor came in next, and we all headed to the delivery room about 7:25 AM. After the spinal, things happened quickly, but my memories of the actual delivery are pretty blurry. I remember that my heartrate skyrocketed; Allen and Leah had to wait to come into the room until I settled down a bit. I remember the doctors asking if I felt the "test cut." I remember the doctors saying I was the smallest person they had ever seen that was pregnant with twins. They also told me my abdominal muscles were extremely tight and they were envious of them. Scary! I've never worked out a day in my life, so I got a good laugh out of that comment. Thanks for the great genes, Mom.

I remember Allen coming in and holding my hand while Leah took pictures and some video of the babies after they were delivered. Baby A came out screaming, which was music to my ears. The nurses said it was the loudest scream they had ever heard from a baby. HA! Baby B was delivered a minute later, and although he came out crying, his was nothing like his brother's cry. The doctor told Allen he could go look at the babies; he told her he couldn't leave because I had a death grip on his hand. The doc forced me to let go of his hand so he could go see and be with the boys.

"Baby A," or as Danielle called him, "Thing 1," Mason Atticus, was born at 7:50 AM, weighed 5 pounds and 13 ounces, and was 19 1/2 inches long. He has proven to be a hands-on little guy who LOVES to be held and rocked. He is also more verbal than his brother and keeps his eyes closed more than his brother as well. We think this guy will be the instigator of the two boys.

"Baby B," a.k.a. "Thing 2," Brody Harrison, was born at 7:51 AM, weighed 4 pounds and 14 ounces, and was 18 inches long. He makes the best faces and is a very easy-going little guy. He only cries when he is really hungry or has a dirty diaper and is content just looking around and taking in his surroundings. Brody will be the easy-going dude that thinks things through and is very inquisitive.

Although my pregnancy was easy, I can say that I didn't expect my recovery to take as long as it has. While in the hospital recovering, my legs looked like they had a terrible sunburn, felt warm to the touch and swelled up so big I could hardly get out of bed. In fact, my legs were more painful than my actual c-section. The doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologist were all called in to see if they could figure out why my legs were swelling. We finally discovered I was allergic to the Oxy.co.done in Per.co.cet. ICK! Once my pain meds were switched, I started feeling much better. We left the hospital on Sunday, October 18; I was thrilled to be going home to my own bed despite the boys being down a few ounces from their original birth weight. If I remember correctly, Mason was 5 pounds and 7 ounces and Brody was 4 pounds and 4 ounces when we left the hospital- both within the normal range of weight for babies to lose post-delivery but terrifying nonetheless. They seemed so small and helpless.

Since I have been home, I have had minor complications with bleeding and my uterus not contracting and shrinking the way it was supposed to after birth, partially because my uterus was so large from carrying the boys. Although I had a reaction to the medication the doctor gave me to help with this, I can now say I am feeling much better. I also tried to wean off my pain meds less than a week after the babies arrived, which was a very stupid idea, and I ended up having to take them again much to my chagrin. I guess we all learn....

I recently developed Mastitis as well. I am currently on antibiotics to help get rid of the infection and hope to feel better very soon.

My family and friends have been amazing! I haven't felt like being on my own with the babies yet except for an hour here and there, so someone has been here helping during the days while Allen helps me at night. Family and friends have brought meals, stayed with me and the babies during the day, cleaned our house, done laundry, and changed, held, and rocked the boys (that's the hardest chore ever. HA!) We've made adjustments to feeding and sleeping schedules, and sleep is few and far between around our house at the moment. Our new normal is three to five hours of sleep (on a good night). For someone who requires a lot of sleep, this has been the biggest challenge for me, along with trying to rest and heal because I'm not one to sit still. EVER. Poor Allen is working during the day, so this has been hard for him as well. He's doing such an amazing job of taking care of the babies AND me, which I know has been a HUGE job! I just adore him and wouldn't have been able to do it without all his help. He is amazing with the boys and is proving to be more hands-on than I ever imagined he would be. He is already a great dad, acting like a seasoned pro after only four short weeks of their life. I love you, Babe!

Three weeks and five days post surgery/delivery, I only have fourteen pounds to lose to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It is unlikely my body will ever look the same again, but I surely don't care because I have two beautiful boys as a reward! I will also admit I usually spend my days in my pajamas and often don't even get a shower until the late afternoons or evenings. Most times I don't even wear makeup. I'd rather exert my energy on the babies than myself right now.

I have only been out of the house without the babies twice. Once was to run to Target for more diapers; we are going through 140 m- 160 diapers a week. Can you believe that? And the other time was to run to another store to grab a few more things for the babies as well. It's hard for me to leave them, but I know it is good for me to get out and get some fresh air too.
I have very little time to do anything other than things that are baby-related. For those that know me and my love for work and technology, you would be shocked to know I check email about once and week and haven't responded to any emails in almost two weeks. THAT'S how busy I am! If you have emailed me, I promise to get back to you some day; I just have no idea when that will be. It's not that I don't care or want to- I just literally don't have the time and sometimes don't have the energy. I know this will all improve as I learn how to manage and juggle being a new mom a bit better. The same applies to me returning phone calls. Be patient, friends; I'm learning. Baby steps....

My memory and train on thought stink right now too. I attribute it to lack of sleep and hormones, but my sister-in-law calls it the "placenta theory." She says that a part of your brain is lost with every placenta. Since I lost two in one delivery, I guess I'm super brainwashed at the moment. HA!

My sense of time is also insane. Time flies. Three hours can pass in the blink of eye. No wonder I can't seem to get anything done around here. Between feedings and diaper changes, there is little time to do much else.

The boys sleep in a crib together right now. They are adorable, often migrate toward each other no matter how far apart we place them, and their cries do not usually wake the other one.

Brody had really bad diaper rash for a while, and we tried all kinds of diaper rash cream. What we found worked best was Vaseline; it cleared him up better than anything else we tried. Both boys currently have some congestion that tends to really flare up at night. The poor guys sound like pigs snorting when we feed them at night but neither has a fever. Mason also has a clogged tear duct that we are cleaning, massaging, and applying antibiotic topical ointment to until it is better. I hate seeing the poor little guys sick, but they are improving.

I know many of you don't care about all of these details and have likely stopped reading at this point, but I wanted to document as much about the birth experience as I could while my memory is somewhat intact.

Without further ado, I'll go ahead and leave you with some pictures, which I know is the real reason you are skimming this post..... Enjoy!

Nightie night. Sleep tight.

Chief Brody

Mister Mason

The babies and Aunt Leah

Sweet sleepers.

Allen and his boys

Can you say precious?

Sheer exhaustion

Cuddle bugs

Watch dogs

Look! We found our hands!

Mason and Moxie

Too sweet for words.

Someone feels neglected as my mom feeds a baby...

Tucker Bug found a friend!

A moment of peace with pacifiers.

Hiya!

Wouldn't you love to know what I am thinking?

Ashley and tiny Brody

Mommy and Mason

YES! I'M A MOM!!!!! My dreams have come true!

Wide awake

A family of four

Mason in his first "outfit"

Brody in his first "outfit"

Cutie patootie

What are YOU looking at?

* I know some of you may have questions I didn't address in this novel, so feel free to leave a comment and ask. I'll do my best to post again very soon and answer any questions I receive, hopefully in less than four weeks this time. (Chuckle) Adios until next time, friends!

The babies are here!!!

2009-10-16T12:08:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone! It's Ashley's friend and blog designer Danielle. I wanted to let you know that the boys arrived this morning and that everyone is doing very well.

We'll call this little cutie "Thing 1."
He weighed in at 5 lbs. 13 oz. and is 19.5 inches tall.

On to this adorable little guy. Yes, you guessed it...I'm going to call him "Thing 2."
He weighed in at 4 lbs. 14 oz. and is 18 inches tall.

Aren't they just the cutest little things you've ever seen? {I couldn't resist!}

They do have names, by the way. Really cute names. But I am going to wait and let Ashley post them. So until then, you can ponder what they may be.

Welcome to the world, boys! And a big congrats Ashley & Allen, the proud parents of two precious little boys!!

36 weeks and 2 days!

2009-10-08T13:55:00.020-05:00

YEAH! I am so thrilled that we have come this far! Yippee!

I am up a total of 44 pounds, and I am measuring 42 centimeters. Yowsers! I'm a big girl now and even wear big girl panties! HA!

I'm craving caffeine like crazy. In my opinion, it is because I am so darn tired. Sleep comes in spurts throughout the night, and I have nights where getting an hour or two at one time is wonderful. I suppose my body and brain are preparing for when we have the babies home with us!

My feet and "cankles" are even larger now; I'll spare you the pictures this time. My carpal tunnel is also much worse because my hands are swelling so much more now too.

I have a few stretch marks around my belly button. They aren't terrible, and they are pretty light in color. I know these sweet baby boys will be worth it all though!

We had to start our non-stress tests last week. If you have never heard of this test, basically, both babies and their heart rates have to be measured for at least twenty minutes. The doctors want to ensure the heart rates are going up and down, depending on the movement of the babies. They want to see fluctuations in their heartbeats. The first non-stress test we took was at my regular ObGyn's office, and it was a nightmare! Two nurses worked two and a half hours to find the babies' heartbeats. They could only find one heartbeat no matter how or what they tried. Obviously, I was completely geeking after all this, and then major contractions started from all the stress. The doctor finally ordered an ultrasound. It was the longest wait ever and my mind went to one of those dark, scary places where you wonder if your world is about to come to a screeching halt. Needless to say, once the ultrasound technician arrived, she found both heartbeats immediately and apologized for our horrendous experience. We literally were at the doctor's office from 2:30 until 7:30, and I was an emotional wreck by the time we left. I'm just happy to report that all is well with both babies, even though they sure gave us a scare.

We have since had two more non-stress tests at our perinatologist's office, which has been a complete blessing. The tests have lasted less than thirty minutes each and have all been great. Whew! I'm so glad the perinatologist's office offered to do the non-stress tests for us because they seem to have soooo much more experience and empathy.

I've also been feeling nauseous. The doctor thinks it is all related to the fluctuations in my hormones, but it kinda stinks. One day I feel okay, and then the nausea hits me and I can't eat but feel like I really need to for the sake of the babies. This too shall pass.....

The perinatologist estimated that the babies weighed five pounds and three ounces and five pounds seven ounces on October 1st. Hallelujah! We are so dang happy with this! Baby A is also fully "engaged" and very low in the birth canal, so the doctor said I am essentially walking around his head. No wonder I have a waddle. Poor buddy boy!

Still working full time. My brain is half there and half in LaLa Land. Oh well; what can I say? I have babies on the brain.

I don't sleep much these days either, which likely contributes to my lack of a brain at work. I sleep an hour or two at night. I either wake up choking on acid from having heartburn so badly or because I am really sore and achy. I know- gross. But I just want to document every last thing because I feel so fortunate to be in this position. I can't tell you how elated I am, despite the not-so-fun-things about pregnancy. And I've had an amazing pregnancy. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Every time I feel these little babies kick, I am thankful. I am thankful to have the opportunity to be a mom and be doubly blessed!

Well, that's probably enough blabbering for now. I'm getting teary-eyed.

But I will leave you with some pics.....

Final nursery pictures.....

Pics of Allen and me.....

And the pups.....

Favorite Time of Year!

2009-09-27T19:49:00.038-05:00

I apologize for not posting more regularly; life has been very busy and hectic preparing for these little guys that are nearly here! This is my absolute favorite time of the year because the seasons are changing, the weather is getting cooler, and holidays are quickly approaching. To top it all off, the babies are going to be born during my favorite season. I'm so excited!

Here are some updates:

I am 34 1/2 weeks pregnant now, but the picture below was taken when I was exactly 34 weeks pregnant. Although my belly is obviously stretched to the max, thankfully I do not (yet) have any stretch marks.

I developed carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands about six weeks ago, but it is worse in my right hand. I wear a brace at night to help control the tingling sensations, but my hands constantly feel like they are asleep. I have a hard time cutting food and grasping onto things now, so most things I pick up end up on the floor. Blow drying my hair, putting on makeup, and writing have become difficult tasks. My doctor said this occurs because of swelling in the hands and will resolve itself about 8 - 12 weeks after I deliver.
As of a week ago, I was up forty pounds.
As of two weeks ago, the babies were measuring very well, in my opinion- 3 pounds 12 ounces and 4 pounds and 2 ounces.
My ankles are pretty gross. Swelling becomes painful by the end of the day and is now consistent no matter how much I sit or stand. I pretty much wear flip flops every day because they are most comfortable. Once I get home from work, I go barefoot or wear house shoes.

I am still working full time, but my body and I are slowing down. Most days I have to come home and take an hour nap because I am so worn out from the day's activities.
My back pain has actually decreased. I'm not sure if someone has been praying for that or not, but if you are- keep on! Because of my scoliosis, I am amazed I am not in excruciating pain at this point. Woohoo!
My doctor is going to deliver the babies in mid-October, and she has told me we have a 50/50 chance of making it until then. That's not too far off, so I'm hoping my body will continue to hold out for the three of us!
I am out of breath all the time and feel like I am gasping for air, especially if I walk even a short distance. Everyone notices it and asks me if I am okay, but it is just my regular breathing at this point.
I have to pee anywhere from 1-3 times an hour during the day and wake up about every two hours throughout the night to go potty. Thank goodness people take pity on pregnant women because there have been a few emergency situations where I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. HA!
We found a pediatrician we are going to use. He came highly recommended. Allen thought he was a bit fruity when we interviewed him, but I reminded him that he works with kids all day long. When we went to our consultation appointment with him, he had a huge skeleton with sunglasses on sitting in a chair in his office. I thought it was hilarious and can see why he will be very good with the boys.
I had three baby showers, and they were all magnificent! We received an outpouring of love from friends and family. Honestly, we were both shocked at how many gifts we received and are so thankful for every single warm thought and gift. I have spent several moments in the nursery, rocking in the recliner, crying, and thanking God for the miracles in my belly and the support we have been shown; we are so grateful. We have been blessed beyond measure and are completely aware of how amazing our friends and family are and will continue to be once the boys arrive. Below are a few pictures from the showers-

We also have the nursery finished. Yippee! The babies will sleep in our room for several months, but we do have the cribs and nursery ready.... I posted several pictures throughout the organization process so you can see what a task it was. Also, Allen painted the orange monkey pictures at the bottom, which I absolutely love. They are the perfect "dad" touch to the room and definitely tie it all together. My hubby is so talented!

Danielle made the invitations for one of my showers, and I absolutely loved them. That girl is so talented and good to me. Thanks, friend!

I think at this point the only thing we have left to do is pack the hospital bag. For the past three weekends, I have planned to do it but then keep putting it off. I feel like if I pack the bags, the babies will see that as an invitation to arrive early. So, I'm not packing yet, despite the doctor's orders.
I see my regular ObGyn once a week now; she is keeping tabs on my weight and dilation so I don't go into preterm labor. Although at this point, the specialist has told us if the babies arrive now, they will still do very well. They will have to stay in the NICU for a bit, but they will do just fine. What a gigantic relief- not that I want them to come yet, but just knowing they would still be okay takes a great deal of pressure off and lowers my stress tremendously.
I have to say that I think my body is holding out so well! I never thought I would make it this far without being on bed rest and have had major concerns about the babies arriving too early. I guess it just goes to show that my body can do more than I thought it would and will power and attitude can move mountains, or in this case, carry the weight of two mountains. Hee hee.

Thanks to those of you that have checked in on us. We're fine and hoping to keep on keepin' on for another few weeks. Hopefully I can update more after our doctor's appointment later this week.

26 weeks and 1 day

2009-07-28T15:11:00.012-05:00

I am officially 6 1/ 2 months pregnant. So amazing! I'm going to post in bullet points because it is late (9:30 P.M.), and I want to head to bed:

My belly is a-growin'! I'm measuring 31 1/ 2inches as of last Monday (one day shy of 25 weeks). This equates to being 31 1/ 2 weeks pregnant with a singleton, but it does not really convert to a twin pregnancy. I don't have any stretch marks yet but know they may appear any second because my stomach is getting so large.
I have gained 25 pounds thus far, and my doctor would like me to continue gaining because weight gain for the mom falls off in the last trimester. Babies take up so much space that there is very little room for the stomach to expand. However, our perinatologist said the babies are measuring right on track for weight so not to be too worried about my personal weight gain.
The babies are super active, although I cannot tell which one is moving or what body parts are moving yet. I can see movement on the outside of my belly as well, which is super exciting. Feeling and seeing the babies move is the neatest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I LOVE it!
My appointments with my regular ObGyn are now every two weeks.
I failed my first glucose tolerance test; the nurse forgot to tell me to fast, and I ate a cheeseburger and fries prior to the test. HA! My repeat test was perfect. Go figure!
I am slightly anemic, which is normal in twin pregnancies. The babies are taking every single bit of nutrition from me. I am supposed to supplement with over-the-counter iron pills once daily and will be monitored closely to ensure my anemia does not get too out of hand.
I am out of breath pretty and take deep breaths often. I don't even realize I am breathing deeply or sighing/taking deep breaths and have been asked on several occasions if I am okay. Someone even told me that I shouldn't breathe like that because it makes other people nervous and concerned I might be going into labor. HA! Poor Allen wears himself out asking if I am alright when I breathe this way too.
I have to go to the bathroom about once an hour (if not more) and am up throughout the night not only to go to the bathroom but also because the babies tend to be most active in the late evenings.
My back still bothers me; the pain is becoming a nuisance. When I think about carrying these two little babies though, I can't help but smile and be thankful.
My ankles have begun to swell a tiny bit but do not cause me any pain right now. They start swelling about 10 A.M. and just tend to stay that way the rest of the day.

I am usually super tired after work and come home to take a thirty-minute nap a few times a week. I also think this might partially be related to the anemia, but I need to ask my doctor about that.
I am constantly thirsty! Super. Thirsty.
We were extremely productive this weekend while my best friend, "Peah," was in town from Houston. We picked out and purchased the cribs and mattresses (which take about six weeks to come in), we planned the family & friend baby shower, we found everything we needed to register for (plan to actually register this weekend), found a recliner/rocker for the nursery (Grandma Lucy paid for it), and we picked out new carpet in case we stay in our current house.
My mom and my Aunt Sharri (my mom's best friend) willingly drove to Tulsa today to get the rest of our baby bedding for us, and we now have all the bedding ordered. How sweet are they to help us with this task?
We also found out that we may get an offer on our house in the next day or two. Yikes! I was so not prepared for this and had resigned myself to staying in our current house until the babies were six months old, but I guess we'll see how it all works out in the end. Allen is dying to move, but I'm ready to nest. Our house officially goes off the market this Sunday at midnight. I just keep telling myself that if it is meant to be, it will be.
My belly is the largest thing on me right now, but I feel like I have started to gain a bit of weight and swelling in my face, rear end, and ankles. I know this is all normal; I just want it documented more than anything.
Other than that, things have been going well. Work is keeping me really busy right now, but it sure makes the days pass quickly. I'm thankful to have a job though!
I also have a great husband who helps so much around the house! He has been amazing and tells me my main job right now is to grow these babies. Since I tend to be a control freak, it is hard for me to surrender, but my body is happy that I do.
Allen tells me I move "at the speed of death." I do all tasks pretty slowly and feel like my "high speed" switch is currently broken. It's okay though; I'm growing babies. Remember? HA!
I apologize if I haven't updated as much as you (or I) would have liked. I've been doing an awful job about commenting on blogs too. I am often reading and sometimes just don't have the time or energy to comment. I am sorry and hope I can improve on this.
I'll leave you with a few parting belly shots and a few pictures from our anniversary trip to Eureka Springs as well.

More than halfway there!

2009-07-02T21:08:00.011-05:00

Man, this pregnancy is flying by, y'all! I cannot believe that I am more than halfway through it. Considering most twins arrive at about 33 weeks, I need to get my butt in gear!

I wanted to start off with some things I have been experiencing and feeling for my own journaling purposes:

I have been feeling great overall! I can honestly say I have been enjoying pregnancy! And the bigger-bellied I get, the nicer people are to me. Not to mention the bigger my belly gets, the bigger the babies are, and I want healthy twins!
The babies are moving like crazy. I can feel them on the inside and outside now; it feels like popcorn popping in my belly. The babies are the most active early in the mornings and then later in the evenings from about 7 - 11 PM. I love it!
I went to the specialist about a week and a half ago (20 weeks, 6 days). I see the specialist in addition to my regular ObGyn so both can monitor the progress of the babies and to ensure I don't go into preterm labor. Both babies looked great and are gaining weight. One weighed 14 ounces and the other weighed 15 ounces. Here are a few pictures:

Both babies are still boys. HA! Sorry to anyone who was still hanging on to the hope of a girl.
We are still working on names but have decided not to reveal the names once we know what they are for sure. We're keeping them a secret for several reasons: 1) we don't want others' opinions about liking/disliking them, 2) we want to surprise everyone once the babies are here, 3) it's one of the things we can keep secret, 4) we know it drives everyone crazy!
I asked the doctor how my (severe) scoliosis would affect the remainder of the pregnancy as well as labor and delivery, an answer I wanted to know but was too scared to ask. He said I would likely have more back pain than a normal pregnancy, which would also be exacerbated by the fact that I was carrying multiples. In addition, it would likely be more safe to deliver via c-section (which my ObGyn and I had already discussed). It might also be difficult for the anesthesiologist to find the right spot in my back for my epidural, and if that was the case, I might have to be completely knocked out for the birth. Definitely not what I want, but I'm glad I asked now instead of being surprised later.
Allen felt the babies for the first time the other night, and I thought he was going to pass out. He raced around the room screaming about how creepy it was! I'm not sure he can believe all this is happening and feeling them kick makes it all the more real, not to mention my ever-expanding belly. Here's me on Tuesday of this week at 22 weeks:
I'm still not craving sweets, although I will eat them on occasion. Fruit has been at the top of my craving list as well as pasta/carbs.
I have times when my heart races and feels very fluttery, but all the books say this is normal since pregnant women have twice the amount of blood racing through their bodies.
My back has started to hurt if I stand too long or sit too long, and I know this will get significantly worse the bigger I get.
Walking has slowed to a snail's pace. Allen makes fun of me because he says my normal speed is "high gear" and my new speed is "turtle gear." I suppose all the extra weight has really slowed me down, but I think that may actually be a good thing.
I was never graceful, but my clumsiness is amplified. I trip over my own feet and sometimes just start leaning to one side and have to regain my center of gravity. Again, I think it is due to the belly weight and is totally normal.
I am beyond absentminded. I can't remember things to save my life right now, so I have things written on notes and then forget about the notes. For those of you that know me, you know this is totally out of character and is driving me crazy. I'm a Type A personality gone astray!
My near-perfect eyesight is off these days too. My eyes get really blurry and occasionally have a very difficult time seeing. This may also contribute to my clumsiness.
Peeing has become like breathing; I do it almost as frequently.
Last but not least, I seem to be out of breath all the time. I sigh ALL the time, and Allen asks me nearly every single time what is wrong.
*None of these things are complaints at all; they are more a documentation of my symptoms so I'll remember these fun times later. Allen and I are both thankful and blessed these babies are on the way and can't wait to hold two, healthy sons in our arms!

Allen has been awesome! He worries about me constantly, although I like to think I'm still somewhat self-sufficient. He is taking such good care of me, asking about my every sigh, moan, and move. I adore him. No wonder Sunday the 5th we will celebrate our seven-year anniversary. Happy early anniversary, honey!

I had a great weekend with my college girlfriends. We met in Southlake, TX (near Dallas) for a weekend getaway that was just amazing! Three of us are pregnant, and my best friend Leah, the only non-pregnant one, was such a good sport about it all. It was hotter than hot; we kept the room temperature at 61 degrees. HA! Poor Leah about froze her tush off!

Leah & Ashley

The four of us: Ashley, Leah, April, Amy

Amy (27 weeks pregnant), April (due in about five weeks), Ashley (due November 3rd)

Thanks for a great weekend, friends! I love you and am glad we make it a point to see each other at least once a year!

___________________________________________________________________

My good friend Danielle (the one I love and adore) and also the one that happens to be the best blog designer ever is hosting a giveaway that you should totally check out and take advantage of right now. She is giving away one pre-made blog template a week during the month of July. Go read all about it and take advantage of winning a new blog design. If you still want a blog makeover and don't feel you are the lucky type, she is having a great sale on pre-made templates through July 7th. You should check out this special offer too. Or, if you aren't interested in a new blog design, she has lots of other talents too: stationery, buttons for your blog, custom logo designs, and a whole shebang of other things. She is truly THAT amazing and creative, not to mention that she is always doing some kind of crazy sale or giveaway! In fact, if you are not a follower of her blog, you should be so you can take part in all of her fabulous and crazy special offers! I mean, HELLO, she redid my blog AGAIN, and I think it is absolutely adorable! She is so
good to me and does the most awesome blog designs ever! You'll have to leave a comment about her newest blog design for me so she knows how much her work is loved and adored.

I am really behind in life right now (emails, laundry, mail, ironing, baby registry) and blogging has taken a back seat. I'll try to do better about reading and commenting soon, I promise.

Well, I think I have posted plenty this time, but I hope you at least enjoyed the pictures if nothing else. Allen and I are off to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, to celebrate our seven-year anniversary and have one last "hoorah" before these babies join us. We'll be safe, and you can bet your bottom dollar I'll have pictures when I return.

Random

2009-06-24T20:48:00.004-05:00

My belly button looks like a pig's nose, and it is NOT attractive. Weird. Ick. Hmmmmmm.......

Oink, oink!

What a week- Your Prayers Worked!

2009-06-10T14:41:00.006-05:00

I apologize for not updating sooner on Tucker's condition, but we have had our hands full since my last post. For those of you that prayed for our sweet buddy and emailed asking for an update, thank you. Thank you very, very much.

I'd like to start from the beginning of Tucker's latest episode, which goes back to last Monday and actually about a month prior to that, but I'll begin by saying that your hearts can rest throughout the story because he is home now and doing amazingly well.

I can't even remember where I left off with him, but to make the beginning of this ailment go more quickly, here's a speedy recap: my best buddy was very sick, urinating blood, acting very clingy, and he was on two antibiotics over the course of two weeks to try and rid what we all thought was a bladder infection. After neither antibiotic worked the way we wanted it to, the vet said he needed to do an x-ray to see if he had bladder stones......

So, Monday, June 1, Allen took Tucker in, where the vet proceeded to give him a shot to knock him out (sedate him) and take an x-ray. We anticipated a call in the early afternoon to let us know if he had bladder stones with all intentions of scheduling a surgery once we knew for sure it was stones.

I got a call from Allen about 11:00 AM Monday letting me know that Tucker had been sedated for his x-rays, but our vet, Dr. Marshall, had called and said there were quite a few stones in his bladder and urethra that needed to be removed immediately. Given the severity of the situation and that he was already sedated, we had no choice but to move forward with the surgery.

During the surgery, the vet found multiple stones in his penis/urethra. Dr. Marshall tried to use a small catheter to move them back into Tucker's bladder for easy removal, but the small catheter couldn't budge them. He tried a thicker catheter and was able to move some, but one was unable to be moved. Thus, the vet had to take all the stones out of his bladder and then cut an extra hole in Tucker's penis for him to urinate out of since the stone would continue to get larger, to the point he would no longer be able to use the "normal" hole for eliminating urine.

Although there was more to the surgery than we originally anticipated, Dr. Marshall had done this same procedure in the past with success. We brought him home Monday evening with great hopes for an uneventful recovery.....

Monday night Tucker Bug ate a small bite of food that contained his medication, but he went downhill rapidly after this. I was up all throughout the night and had planned to work from home on Tuesday to ensure Moxie (his little sister) left him alone and that he stayed "calm." About 6:00 AM, I heard him moving around under our bed; it took some gentle pushing to actually get him to emerge. Once I had my buddy in my arms, it was obvious he was not doing well at all. He was pretty lethargic, the swelling had more than doubled from the night before, and he refused to eat or drink. We knew this wasn't a good sign, but we also knew he had been through some pretty major surgery. After letting him down, Tucker walked over to the corner and just stood. He wouldn't lie down, he didn't respond to his name, and he generally looked awful overall. Allen finally got him to lie down in his bed, but that is when we noticed some bleeding and just how bad the incision and surgery area looked. We waited until the vet opened and called immediately to get him back in that morning. From the looks of things, neither Allen nor I were even sure Tucker could make it that long and started our discussions of possibly having to put him down immediately. We couldn't allow him to suffer just because we weren't ready to say goodbye.

Our appointment Tuesday AM was at 9:15, and Dr. Marshall told us things were not good from the looks of him. He needed to go back in and do exploratory surgery to ensure his bladder hadn't ruptured. We left Tucker knowing this was far from an ideal situation.

Tuesday's vet report wasn't good; his bladder was still intact, but the swelling was out of control and he was refusing to eat or drink, a sign that he was not fighting the infection. We asked our vet if it was time to put him to sleep, and he told us he wanted to fight a bit longer. Dr. Marshall didn't feel putting Tucker to sleep at that point was best for Tucker or for us. The vet kept him overnight, giving him fluids intravenously, and we called several times to check in on him. Swelling had taken a major hold of my little buddy and the vet wanted to keep him for several days to try and eliminate the swelling and infection.

Poor Tucker was with Dr. Marshall Tuesday through Saturday morning on fluids and medications. Another x-ray revealed more stones in his urethra and bladder, which meant another surgery was in his future if he got over this major hump. I checked on him daily and encouraged him to fight for me and his best friend, Moxie. He actually ate some baby food and chicken for me later in the week. Yippee!

Saturday early afternoon I brought the little boy home, where he cried and begged me to hold him. Because the swelling was still so great and because he was leaking urine, we opted to keep him crated the majority of the time, but I did spend some time holding him and loving on him too. We also had to put him in diapers because the extra hole in his penis was leaking urine incessantly. Although he was embarrassed, I thought he looked absolutely adorable in his little "Pupster" diaper.

The checkup last Monday showed almost all of the swelling gone! Your prayers worked! Thank you! His next surgery was scheduled for Monday (yesterday) to remove the remaining stones, if he was still doing so well.

And yesterday.... guess what? The x-ray showed there was only one small stone remaining, and it was in his bladder. A catheter was easily passed through his penis and no surgery/ cutting him back open was necessary for now! He actually passed a few of the stones on his own throughout the week when we sedated him because he was straining to urinate.

My boy is so wonderful. He is a fighter. I cannot believe the recovery he has made, and I couldn't be happier. From thinking we were going to lose him to an almost-full recovery, my dog is a Superdog. An expensive Superdog, but nonetheless, a Superdog.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers! And I apologize for the long post, but I wanted to document Tucker's amazingness and all that we went through with him the past few weeks. In case you can't tell, Tucker is my first baby and always will be!

Baby Genders

2009-06-02T18:48:00.029-05:00

So, I'm guessing you are wondering what these babies are and who won the drawing......

Baby A is a ...........

BOY!

With boy parts right where they are supposed to be!

And Baby B is a ..............

BOY too!

With boy parts right where they are supposed to be as well!

Can you believe it? My intuition was way off base! Who even cares- I am going to have two sons! I'm honestly thrilled with this news and even more thrilled that everything looked so great on the ultrasounds! Both babies had great heart beats (155 and 159), one weighs .6 ounces and the other weighs .7 ounces, and they both already have their own personalities in the womb. Baby A is laid back, makes it easy to get great photos, and has the slower heart beat. Baby B is always bouncing around, upside down, hands waving, hard to get photos of, and had a much more loud and distinct heartbeat. Hilarious!

I was also asked and realized I hadn't mentioned it, but the boys are not identical twins. The doctor said they will likely be as different as night and day, and from the looks of things on the ultrasounds, that just may prove to be true.

Two boys. Two bouncing baby boys. Man, we are in for a real action-packed adventure, I'm sure!

Thank you to all who guessed on the genders; I had a good time reading each of your responses. There were a few that guessed two girls, many of you that guessed one of each gender, but 6 people in total guessed two boys (4 in the comments and 2 via email). My best friend's mom, "Mops," actually told me we were having two boys the day she found out we were having twins, and my understanding is that she has not been wrong about a baby's gender yet. What a track record!

But, the winner of the drawing out of those that guessed two boys is.......(drum roll, please).......
Miss Anne.

Miss Anne, email me at ashleywithtwins@gmail.com to claim your special prize, which happens to be some stationery created by my good friend, Danielle, also known as The Design Girl. She's having a sale right now that everyone should check out and take advantage of- NOW! You can check out her website and all of her creations, but let me just show you a sample of the stationery Danielle creates (she also has other creations - address labels, blogs, moving announcements, birth announcements, etc) because I am sure you will all be jealous you didn't win the prize.....

I'm sure you also noticed that in honor of the genders, Danielle / The Design Gir l has changed the blog colors too. Thank you, friend! You are so good to me!

Additionally, I wanted to post my eighteen-week belly shots. I'm scared to step on the scale, so I have no clue how much weight I have gained, but I'm sure the doctor will be quick to point that out when I go next time.And I'll have you know- I am not growing; the BABIES are growing!

P.S. If you are the praying type, I would like to ask for prayers for Tucker Bug. He is not doing well at all, and there were complications with his surgery. I don't want to say too much and get anyone upset because the news about the babies is super exciting, but there is a possibility we we may have to put the little guy to sleep in the next day or two if his condition does not improve. I'll post more later, but I've had a few ask about him. Thank you for your thoughts.

Late-Breaking News

2009-06-01T11:49:00.002-05:00

So, we know the genders of the babies now.....!!!!

Any guesses? Come on- you know you want to participate!

Out of the people who guess correctly, I'll draw a name at random for a fun & special prize......

Guesses must be submitted by Tuesday, June 2nd at 5:00 Central time.

**UPDATE: Tucker is currently in surgery to remove stones in his bladder and urethra.